Special Guest Expert - Bernadette Boas

Special Guest Expert - Bernadette Boas: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

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Brian Kelly:
So, here's the big question. How are entrepreneurs like us, who have been hustling and struggling to make it to success, who seem to make it one step forward, only to fall two steps back? Who are dedicated, determined, and driven? How do we finally break through and win? That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Brian Kelly, and this is The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show.

Brian Kelly:
Hello, everyone, and welcome, welcome, welcome to The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show. We have a very hot show for you tonight, not because of moi. No, no, no, no, no. Because of our incredible guest expert, Bernadette Boas, who is coming on very soon. So, get ready. Hold on your hats, get a pen and paper, take great notes. You are going to love her, as I do already. She is an amazing woman. The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show. What is that all about? The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show is a show for entrepreneurs by entrepreneurs. And what I am so blessed to be able to do is bring on highly successful entrepreneurs on the show for the purpose of helping you, the aspiring entrepreneur, the business person. Maybe you've already reached a high level of success. No matter where you are in your walk, there's always room for improvement. And with the show, you'll be given the tools to do just that. And all you need to do is listen to our guest experts, take notes and then implement what they have recommended. And I can tell you from doing this for now, going on two years, that the value is immense. There are so many things I personally have learned and implemented in my business that have taken it to the next level. And so I say this with all confidence that you can do the same. And I just know, I just know that Bernadette is going to deliver some incredible value for you that you can take and make actionable right away. So The MIND BODY BUSINESS Show, it's the three pillars of success. And what that, what that means is I studied only successful people for about the last decade or so. And during that time I started noticing three patterns developing over and over and over. And yeah, you probably guessed what those are -mine being mind mindset that is having a powerful, flexible mindset. Body is that each of these successful individuals took care of themselves. Now, it doesn't mean that they were a body builder if they were a guy like Arnold Schwarzenegger or if they were a supermodel, if they were a young lady or even not a young lady. It's about just taking care of oneself by exercising on a regular basis and by eating and drinking things that are good for you, that serve you, nutrition. And then there's business. Yes, one of my face, because it is multi, multifaceted. It involves the mastery of so many different skill sets, skill sets like marketing, team building, systematizing, sales, leadership. The list goes on. And I could go on all night with all of the different skill sets that it takes to actually create and build and then sustain, maintain and grow a successful business. The good news is you only really have to master one of those skill sets, that I actually mentioned, one of them, by name, because to do all of them, to master them all, I don't know if any one person on this planet would have the absolute time to do so. And so if you master just one skill set and that is the skill set of leadership, then you can easily scale your business by bringing in those people that have those skill sets that are mastered them on your team and you delegate to them. You definitely have skill sets and you want to utilize your own and you can just scale with others. So, the other wonderful aspect I found through a successful person after a successful person is to a person. They are all very avid and voracious readers. Yes. Readers of very compelling and great books. And with that, I'd like to segue real quick over into a segment I affectionately call "Bookmarks".

Announcer:
Bookmarks. Born To read. Bookmarks. Ready, steady read. Bookmarks. Brought to you by ReachYourPeakLibrary.com.

Brian Kelly:
Yes, all right, ReachYourPeakLibrary.com, a real quick word before we move on, and that is you are going to be learning about a lot of great valuable resources during the show. Please, do yourself a favor and take out one of those good old fashioned pieces of paper and a writing instrument like a pen, if you remember what that looked like and take notes during the show, rather than give in to the temptation of clicking away and going off and looking at things like what you see on the screen right now, if you're watching and if you're listening on a podcast and you're near a computer, just take notes. Do not run away and take your attention away from what is going on. Because here's the thing. The magic happens in the room. And I would really hate for you to miss one golden nugget from Bernadette when she comes on because your attention was diverted. And so stay with us, take notes and then visit those resources later. That is my tip for tonight. All right. The Reach Your Peak Library. That is a resource I literally had built with you in mind. And I do not kid when I say that. It is a collection of books that I myself have personally read and I vet them, meaning they had profound effect on me in business and on in my personal life, as well. And here's the thing. I didn't start reading until my late 40s. Did not I kid you not? And then once I learned about the value of reading, I couldn't get enough. And I started listening on Audible and I started reading and reading and reading and growing. And I'll tell you, it's a life changer. So, when you hear someone else say that, I know that it's true because I didn't start until late in life, and it's really turned things around for me personally. But I only took the best of the best books that I personally read so that you if you're looking for another read or maybe your first read, this is a great one. Stop shop and you can just pick out the first one that jumps off the page, you know, maybe resist the temptation to look through and scan through every single one of them. As you're going down, you find one that jumps up, you like it, just go for it and read it and then come back for the next one. That is there for you. That is our gift to you so that we can help to save you some more time and be more efficient in your learning process. Now on to what is going to be the greatest part of this show? And that is our very special guest expert who is coming on right now. So get ready. Here we go.

Announcer:
It's time for the guest expert spotlight, savvy, skillful, professional, adept, trained, big league, qualified.

Brian Kelly:
There she is, ladies and gentlemen. The one, the only Bernadette Boas.

Bernadette Boas:
Hi, Brian, how are you?

Brian Kelly:
I'm doing fantastic. This is going to be so much fun. I'm so excited. Thank you so much for coming on. She hails from all the way on the East Coast in Atlanta, Georgia, where it is a lot later than it is here in California. So, I appreciate you for coming on. And before we get going officially, Bernadette, real quick, what I'd like to do is remind folks that if they stay on to the very end, live on this show, watching it, video, that they can actually enter to win a five night stay at a five star luxury resort, compliments of the Big Insider Secrets. You see their logo if you're watching up there on the right top right corner. And we give away one of these every single show thanks to them. TheBigInsiderSecrets.com, Jason Narced and his crew. We appreciate them greatly. So, stick on to the end and you will get a chance to win. We give it away every single week. All right. Now, let's, let's give this young lady the respect she deserves and bring her on properly. Bernadette Boas is known as a ball of fire transformation coach, consultant, speaker and author who leverages her twenty five year corporate savageness with her entrepreneurial spirit to equip professionals with the mindset, skills and talents they need to create riches in their career, business and life. Wow. Sounds like it's a perfect fit for the show. I wonder how that happened. Bernadette is the author. This is great of her raw and powerful memoir "Shedding the Corporate Bitch". Yep, I said it "Shifting from Bitch". I said it again "to Rich in Life and Business", which is her apology for the havoc wreaked throughout her corporate career. Her sense of humor is awesome, Tony. Today Bernadette is the founder and CEO of two aspiring Atlanta, Georgia based companies. One is a "Ball of fire consulting", which is a business management, coaching and consulting practice. And the other is "Ball of Fire Media", which is a media communications and publishing firm. All right. That's our show for tonight. We thank you for coming on. No, no, no. Bernadette Boas, welcome to the show. Formally and officially. I appreciate you for coming on.

Bernadette Boas:
Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Bernadette Boas:
Ufff. I can't tell you. I am far more excited just because you have this incredible magnetic personality. I mean, instantly, the second we started chatting just moments ago before we came on the air. I just knew immediately, like, oh, this is a fireball, and it's right in your bio, right? So, speaking of bio, that tells a lot, speaks volumes of your experience, of your accolades, of what you've done, that people know that you're the real deal. What I like to do is peel the onion back a little farther and really get more into that first word of the show, which is mind. I like to find out what's going on in that wonderful, beautiful brain of yours, Bernadette, to help others to understand what it takes up here. As far as an attitude, as far as the drive, as far as what you've done to get there when you get up in the morning, every morning, you know, being an entrepreneur, challenges will be facing you every single day. So for you, how did you overcome that, you know, that one or that feeling of, gosh, another frickin day and more challenges instead? And wrapping that up and saying," I can't wait, I'm driven, I can't wait to take on the next day and impact more lives". What is it for you? What motivates you each and every morning when you get up?

Bernadette Boas:
Well, I have to admit, I, I rarely look at a morning like, like it's heavy. Like there is challenges. Probably because about 10 or 11 years ago I really started teaching myself and training myself that it first thing in the morning, my routine is really to stay in bed even when I wake up and really just go quiet and assess kind of from toe to head the state of being that I'm in. So, I'll sit there and I'll go, OK, I had to my toes feel, my knees feel, my, my stomach feels, how does my heart and my head feel. And then I'll try to sense whether or not there's something off. Maybe I'm fatigued, maybe I'm agitated, maybe I didn't get enough sleep or maybe I'm excited and I'm going to leverage that. And I take that time, and it's only about five minutes, and I take that time to kind of meditate, pray and then shift into a really great state of being so that when my feet literally hit the floor, I am wanting to go out in the world with gusto and with excitement and with positivity, as opposed to feeling drained and fatigued and, and agitated. And that's what helps me throughout the day. And to kind of say, OK, yes, I'm going to get hit with some challenges, and boy, if I don't. But at the same time, I think a lot of it has to do with my faith, as well. At the same time, I really just find a lot of grounding in just going quiet, and still, and really going inward to say, you know what, everything's going to be just fine. Just take a deep breath, get, you know, get patient and just keep moving, keep moving, keep moving, because momentum is what we need in order to get kind of in a good place and get unstuck and all those kind of things.

Brian Kelly:
I mean, you just drop like five golden nuggets in the first two minutes. And I'm not kidding. This is, this is, this is gold people. Those of you watching for, those of you listening, take notes. And one thing I found common, Bernadette, this is really cool. I was getting goosebumps and I got them if I pull back my jacket here. Is that most of the successful people that I've interviewed on this show to a person have a routine that they start with, some finish with it, some start and finish with the key for everyone watching and listening is to establish one.

Bernadette Boas:
Absolutely.

Now, does that mean you need to do exactly what Bernadette does? Maybe to start just to give it a shot. Does it work for you. No. Then go back, watch another show. We have them all on our website. The MindBodyBusinessShow.com. Up so often a ramble through it and find out what routine would work for you. But here's the thing- model success. I'm pointing at Bernadette right now because all you have to do is follow in her footsteps and then modify and tweak to fit you as you go along. I love that, that she stays in bed for a few five minutes and does a self like a body scan, a self assessment. What's going on is not just her body, it's also her mental state. And this is so common, Bernadette, among successful people is they're very in tune with not just their mind, but also their body.

Bernadette Boas:
Well, and it's only because, Brian, quite honestly, in the twenty five years of corporate and that in that kind of time period, from twenty to forty five roughly, I would that alarm would go off and I would be out of bed and into the office and into whatever I was doing without ever really knowing being present to what the heck I was, I was experiencing. I would just be on drive. And so, I just realized, especially as I started my own business as an entrepreneur, you really need to find those, those grounding routines, as, as Brian mentioned. The Grounding routines and habits, because, you know, often the times it's only you and you need an opportunity to kind of take a deep breath and decompress and get in your head in a good way to, to plan out the day and and actually be present in it.

Brian Kelly:
I can so relate and so echo everything you just said. It's so easy as an entrepreneur. I love what I get to do. I love it. I enjoy it. It's not work. And because of that, that's a good thing. It can also be a bad thing because I don't know when to turn off the button. The switch. And I recently it was about two and a half weeks ago, I looked down and I said, oh my God, I just did a 17 hour day.

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, my.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And I averaged fourteen,

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, god. Right.

Brian Kelly:
Around fourteen. And I do fine with that. I do, though, need to step back and take one of those 14 hour days off and just shut down and do something that's completely different and get out. Even though I love what I get to do. There is stress, there's strain involved, and you do need to have those times. And when you're doing all by yourself, like Bernadette, like you just pointed out, so important is to have that self-discipline, to maybe put in a routine, make it a certain time of day, whatever works for you.

Bernadette Boas:
Right.

Brian Kelly:
Just, just be sure to take those breaks, hit that pause button. I'll tell you. I mean, it's, it's, it's threatened my marriage. And this is all on me. I'm the one who did all this. This was like twenty years ago where I get really stupid. Not that, that was the only time I was ever stupid. Not saying that there have been many of those moments, let me tell you.

(Both laugh).

Brian Kelly:
But yeah. So, I appreciate that you brought that up because it is, it is so vitally important. And this is what I love about this show. And meeting people like you is. This isn't just about how do you turn the crank, how do you market, how do you do your sales? What do you say to people when you first call them? This is the the those things, those intangibles that are also so vital to one's success. Would you agree with that?

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, absolutely. My whole platform is on the fact that I learned just in this last twelve years because I had so much work I needed to do on myself, that skill sets important. But trust me when I say you can have all the skills, all the talent, all the beautiful resumé of experiences, but if your head's not on straight, and if you aren't really good with yourself mentally and emotionally and spiritually, then all those skill sets are for not. And so, you know, I tell my clients, I tell my friends, I tell my family. Spend every day working on you, who you are and what it is that you want and what drives you even beyond worrying about what skills you need in order to do a job.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, totally resonate. Is there anything special that you go to to help yourself work on yourself each day, or does it continually change? What is your approach?

Bernadette Boas:
Well, I mentioned prayer and meditation and I do readings every morning. I have a daily devotional book that I'll go to "Jesus calling" by Sarah Young. And it's, you know, it gives you a daily set of scripture and, and summary and reading, so that really helps me just kind of take care of myself spiritually and emotionally and even mentally, but then I just go to just enjoy being happy that I'm alive and being grateful and thankful and blessed. So, I know a lot of people do gratitude journals. I'm a big journaller. I've been journaling since I was eight. My, my father kind of passed it on to me. And so I have journaled regularly throughout my life, just purging everything that's within my head, in my heart and letting it go, so I don't hang on to things that I don't want to. But then I have a memory of the things that I do.

Brian Kelly:
Yes.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah,

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. I've heard many times the power of journaling and I think you glad I wrote down that resource. So it's "Jesus calling" Sarah...What's her name?

Bernadette Boas:
Young.

Brian Kelly:
And my writing is getting horrible, you know.

Bernadette Boas:
(Bernadette laughs).

Brian Kelly:
I'm only like producing, starring, (Bernadette is laughing), doing all the scenes, switching. But, you know, I should be able to read my writing. Come on. But thank you for that. Thank you for all those resources. I'm always looking for ways to change. I love variety. I'm very anti routine when it comes to because of the corporate time I spent as well. Because you do what they want on their time, by the way. They want it when they want it, how they want it. And I just got man, let me the heck out of here. This is not,, this does not this is does not define me. And then because of that, now I'm anti routine, but now I am routine because I get to call the shots of when I schedule my time.

Bernadette Boas:
Absolutely.

Brian Kelly:
A totally different.

Bernadette Boas:
Absolutely a beautiful, beautiful thing. (laughs).

Brian Kelly:
I like to get up and then actually literally go out. I live in California, so we get a lot of sun and get out and go in the backyard, stand in the grass barefoot, do some jumping jacks, get the sun at the same time and just have like you do when you're doing a body scan, right? Just a moment to yourself, right away from phone, computer and everything else is cool.

Bernadette Boas:
Absulutely.

Brian Kelly:
And enjoy the quietness of the morning. And then the sun gives energy. That, that's me. You have yours. Like I said to everyone, pick what you like to do. There are many, many entrepreneurs that have examples of these. In fact, I imagine there are probably books written about it. Just start doing something that's good for you, that takes you away from the job at that moment and get into yourself. Like Bernadette is saying, you really get in tune with yourself. It may sound like Woohoo to some of you. And I used to be that way. It is definitely not woohoo. It is absolutely effective. I kid you not.

Bernadette Boas:
Well, it's vital. It's vital. I mean, it's something that we each must do. We have to self care and take care of ourselves because like they say on the plane, you know, put the mask on yourself first before helping other people because you can't show up full and complete and who you're truly meant to be if you're not taking care of yourself.

Brian Kelly:
That's such a great point, because what fuels all entrepreneurs I know you're the same way is serving others.

Bernadette Boas:
Yes.

Brian Kelly:
I mean, instantly. I can see it all over you. It's just there's no doubt ,and that's every entrepreneur I've ever had on a show is wired that way. Well, for us to be able to serve for you, to be able to serve, those people you want to serve at your highest level, if you're not helping yourself, you're not taking care of yourself, you won't be able to do that.

Bernadette Boas:
Exactly.

Brian Kelly:
I like to tell people like, OK, if not for yourself, then maybe for them, because we will often do more for others than we will do for ourselves. It's just true.

Bernadette Boas:
Right.

Brian Kelly:
And the more you can get out of your own self and look at the reasons why you do things, the the better off you'll be because you'll start doing better things for yourself because of others. It's a beautiful thing. I love it. It's flattering.

Bernadette Boas:
Brian, though we need to get selfish. We, I mean, it's not a bad term, it's not a bad thing to be selfish take to ensure that you are caring for yourself. So, it's nice that you want to help everyone else. At the same time, you really need to take care of yourself and be selfish in certain ways.

Brian Kelly:
I think there's a book right there, Bernadotte. That's a great. I mean, it's counterintuitive to people or it's counter what people believe in, but if they understand the frame around it.

Bernadette Boas:
Yes.

Brian Kelly:
Just by itself being selfish to go. Wait. I'm not supposed to be. Mom said I shouldn't be. Well, it's OK. Just like just like, oh, this is great. Because I said, what model success. What is, what is model me. It's a fancy word for copy.

Bernadette Boas:
Right.

Brian Kelly:
But we humans don't like to hear that because we equate that to cheating in elementary school. So, I never say copy. But here's the deal. It doesn't mean you're cheating. If you're modeling someone, they're giving you permission or you just read their books, you follow and you have a book. By the way, we need to get that out there and just follow what they do. That's modeling.

Bernadette Boas:
Right.

Brian Kelly:
And that's the key to success. Number one key is model someone who is successful. Not don't try to make it all up on your own. Do you agree with that one?

Bernadette Boas:
I, absolutely. Forgery's flattering.

Brian Kelly:
Yes.

Bernadette Boas:
Forgery is flattering, you know. I mean, no one should be offended by someone wanting to emulate or, or replicate or, or make tweaks to something. They should be flattered by it.

Brian Kelly:
And I want to be clear for everyone watching emulate is there's a difference between flat out, absolutely copying someone's course and figuring out how to download the whole thing and make yours. That's not what we're talking about.

Bernadette Boas:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're right.

Brian Kelly:
You're modeling someone like Bernadette. You're doing, you're establishing a routine. That's an example. You're, you're establishing those paw's moments. To go through. You're also doing the daily grinding. What do you do during the day. We may not get into that detail in this show, but that's what I mean by modeling. We might. I know Bernadette's that way as well. I mean, just be mindful and respectful and ask that person for help. That's what I did. I got a mentor.

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, yeah.

Brian Kelly:
And I put my hands around his ankles and I wouldn't let go. I think he has fingernail marks on his ankles. And he's a young man. He's by age, could literally be my son. Age doesn't matter to me. Race doesn't, gender. None of it. I never had any of those,. Those things. And I'm all about results.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah, that results as it.. Results as king and queen. And where we should be focused on as entrepreneurs is getting results for our clients.

Brian Kelly:
Right. As long as it's integrity based and full of character, which I know is by default with you. But I want to make sure I verbalize that as well. Talked about skill sets. You brought up a couple. That was awesome. Now you have been doing this for some time. Where you are right now, today? If you were to think, if you could imagine, what would you say for our audience are the top three skills needed for entrepreneur to be successful in today's environment? If you could name three.

Bernadette Boas:
I would say. I'm huge on goal setting and planning. So, if, if you're not real skilled at planning out, goal setting, kind of defining your action plan, that's a skill that you certainly want to develop and certainly want to create even as a discipline or as a habit. Because as an entrepreneur, especially if you start off by yourself and then you're growing your team, you definitely need to have those goals, have those action plans. I would then say time management is a skill that many individuals don't really consciously, intentionally consider and think about and train themselves on. But I think it's something that is absolutely, absolutely necessary. And then I would probably say one skill that an entrepreneur would greatly benefit from is they really knew how to tell a story. So, a storytelling. Because people want to engage with you, because they, like, know and trust you. And when you first interact with them and/or they interact with you, even if you have a product, let alone a service, end-to-end a product, you need to build that trust, that knowing and that liking and being able to tell a story and use your own experiences or that of other people that you've met or that of other people that you've read and followed and been mentored by or of your clients and customers. That is the most powerful way to create a connection, especially on an emotional level, which is when they start to, to buy and engage with you. I think storytelling has become more critical over the last three to five years. Yet, at the same time, those that have been telling stories their whole lives, I think you'll, you'll definitely see that as a top skill that they have and that they're very successful as a result of it.

Brian Kelly:
Oh, my goodness. And you're the first one that's ever of all the people I've interviewed, that use storytelling as one of the top three skills. And it's powerful, it is so powerful, and it's one of the one of the masters that this is a gentleman by the name of Less Brown.

Bernadette Boas:
Sure, Less. A friend of mine who YOU'VE GOT TO BE HUNGRY and without the power of stories. Oh, no. I heard that back in 2010. I still remember it.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. I was so blessed to have him on my show about a month over a month ago now.

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, nice.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And I jus.t he's on live almost every day on Facebook, and I watched him earlier today, earlier today. And it was probably 70 or 80 percent of the time he was talking. It was stories, and it had my attention the whole time. And I was thinking the whole time, this is the master storyteller, because they were always pertinent to the topic at hand. So, there is an art. And when you said that's one of the top three skill sets, that's part of it is OK, it's great. Just don't just tell a story for telling story sake, but have it with a purpose or an intention that there's you know, there's actually a reason for that story. And that's something I got to learn with my mentor on stage. He was very pro metaphore. Let's tell stories, come up with more stories, come up with your own, make some up. It could be about somebody else. It doesn't matter as long as you utilize it, like Bernadette just said, for rapport building, you know, for trust. And in all cases, not just speaking from stage, know when you're selling, when you're in the process of selling. We did a webinar "Tell stories.

Bernadette Boas:
Well, and I, I bet you one of the top three skills that you typically hear is sales. And what I've learned over the last two or three years is it's no longer sales, it's no longer selling, it's storytelling. You know, it's enrolling, it's presenting, it's making a connection as opposed to what how a lot of entrepreneurs get in their head about, oh, I don't want to be a used car salesman. Well, you're not. It's more the storytelling and the presenting and making a connection and stories of the best way to do it.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And now, more than ever, it's important to make and establish those personal relationships. And if you haven't started, just start. It's going to take time. It's here's the thing. I always tell folks, you know, you're going to go for the short, quick kill, which is just go straight for it, get the sale. You might make a few if you're really good at it, you might make a lot of money. It's to me, it's not a long term solution. And if you establish relationships and you're able to put off those quick kill income moments, you're going to see much greater growth over time than you ever will by doing going the quick kill method. What are your thoughts on that?

Bernadette Boas:
I absolutely agree. I mean, that, like no one trust is not a flip it thing.

Brian Kelly:
Right.

Bernadette Boas:
I remember people. I want to engage with people. I will go back to people that I have met and fire or engage them in something from years ago simply because we built a relationship. And it was based on liking each other, knowing each other and trusting each other. And it's what causes stickiness in relationships and an opportunity to, to engage them as your customer. So it's no, it's vital. Absolutely vital, because we're not transactional. You know, as entrepreneurs, we can't be transactional. We can't be worried about the deal or the or the sale or the proposal or the clothes. We have to ,we want to be thinking forward. We want to be thinking, you know, longer term that one sale could become years of sales. It could become years of opportunities, partnerships, you know, strategic affiliates, as opposed to just being transactional right here and right now.

Brian Kelly:
I totally, totally agree. And a relationship you established years ago can result in a sale years later.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Brian Kelly:
And this is what I like to, like to going to an event like a seminar or a networking event when we used to be able to do that, where you would go, and there would be maybe a large crowd, maybe a small crowd, but you would have what are called breaks, 90 minute session inside. People would teach and give you value. Then you take a break and then you would network outside in the hall. And one of the things I've been, I've been on the receiving end of is what I call a Business card ninja. And that's where they're basically just throwing cards in your face as fast and furiously as they can to as many as they can without establishing any connection. I literally had a person go, "Hey, here's my card, is my card, is my card". And who are you? And why would I want to talk to you? And I just grabbed it to get them off my back. I looked at it like, I don't even know who you are. I'm not. I just I threw it away.

Bernadette Boas:
Right. well, there's a cautionary tale there. And that is business cards have now become linked in in invitation's where I am just over the fact that I go into my mailbox on LinkedIn hoping to have my the real connections, messaging me and engaging with me. And I have to go through 30 or 40 a day of people I don't even know. We're not even connected yet. And they have a page, a sales page of an email to me like, "Hey, can do you need my services?". I'm like, I don't even like, look at your profile picture, yet. And it's just so, it's just so inappropriate and it's not going to get them what what it is.

Brian Kelly:
Right. It's blatant. It's the quick kill approach. That I was talking about. So, like a networking event. So I would just tell people be of a serving attitude.

Bernadette Boas:
Yes.

Brian Kelly:
And and instead of barfing all over the person you're talking to about what you do, started off with. "Hey, Bernadette, how are you doing? I'm so glad to meet you here. Tell me, what is it that you do? And maybe I can help out". Make it about them. And oh, the first thing I want to do is open up. They love you. Instant rapport and be authentic about it, though. Don't go up and just do it to be plastic and then listen to them. And you may never get to say a single word about yourself. That's OK.

Bernadette Boas:
Perfect. That's how it was meant to be.

Brian Kelly:
Yep. And here's the greatest tip I was ever given about business cards. I don't care. I don't own any anymore. But back in the day, if here's the greatest rule of thumb you can go by as far as handing them out yourself is if they didn't ask you for your card, then do not give it to them.

Bernadette Boas:
Absolutely.

Brian Kelly:
Just I mean. Either the value you gave that you're presenting, it's not enough or it's not a match for them or they're just not ready for what you have. And maybe it's someone else. Maybe they need someone else's services. And then that's the other thing, help them out by connecting them with someone else, you know, who has that skill set that they need instead of trying to make it all about you and,. And I man. Oh, I got to tell you, the more I did that and I kind of did it more naturally because I. I never liked going right for the jugular. It just was. It didn't feel right.

Bernadette Boas:
Me neither.

Brian Kelly:
Not to say I'm any better than anyone else. It's just that's that's just how I was wired. And I'll tell you that the relationships are just incredible over the years. And I wouldn't trade those for any amount of money.

Bernadette Boas:
Right. Well, one one of my favorite passages or it's actually just a short little line is "Serving others, serves you". Well. It's serving others, serves me. And I didn't get it at first because this was like ten years ago when I was still in my kind of like my bitchy mode. And I was trying to work on my shedding and work on letting go of all of the angst that I had within me. And I'm reading this. I'm like, how selfish is that? I'm trying to change. And I'm reading this thing that says serving others serves me. And I'm like, that's so selfish. And then as I kind of continued my shedding process and I really did turn my attention in my serving to other people, then I recognized. Oh, wait a minute. What it means is, yes, serve everyone else, and you'll be taken care of it. Not directly, but in time you'll be taking care of. So, serving others does serve you. And that's something I always lean on when I kind of even start feeling as if, you know, I might be straying. And I just kind of think about that and I say serve others. That's all I'm here to do is to serve others.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, it's amazing. I'm thinking now I've got there's two people in my head. One was about nine years ago when I met him for the first time. He had helped form multimillion dollar businesses. Multiple times over. I never thought of him that way. He's got a great personality, friendly, and then yesterday he reached out and wants to work together after a year. I didn't look for it. I wasn't seeking it. It just landed in my lap now. And he's been on my show because we're friends. I like him. He's a good friend. And then another one was someone I met about seven years ago. We actually spoke on the same stage, which was my mentor stage. He was a guest speaker. I got to know him for, gosh, fifteen minutes in the back of the room before he went up. And then we ran into each other again last year at a summer event, another seminar, and struck it up. And now I'm working with him, and it's just unbelievable. It's come around. And that was intentional by myself. It just, it happened like relationships were established, and that's the whole point of my babbling.

Bernadette Boas:
Right. It was a good battle.

Brian Kelly:
Good battle. I love it. So, you've been through corporate twenty five years, that's a good, good run and you now have tasted the fruits of entrepreneurism and you figured it out.

Bernadette Boas:
Right.

Brian Kelly:
And so a lot of people will go to great lengths to succeed to make it. And that could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing, depending on how one defines what they're willing to do. For you how far are you willing to go to succeed? What is it that you will do, no matter what, to get the success you want and deserve?

Bernadette Boas:
Wow. Wow. That's a, that's a loaded question. This is a book in itself. Well, what I have done is early on, because I've been on my own for 12 years. And actually what's funny is the day I published my book and I was holding this big, big party and big book signing with the day I went in the Red Room. And it was like five years out of corporate and kind of in that I was I, I said to my broker, I said, "I want..." All this was back in two thousand eight two. "I want all my money and I'm going to do whatever I need to do and spend whatever I need to spend to go out on my own and build a business and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And I did it very well for those five years, but at the same time I did invest, invest, invest. Well, then I said to myself, well, I want to still continue investing as I'm growing. So, I actually have a beautiful, beautiful home in Atlanta as a result of my corporate career and I have a guest house. So, I said to myself, wow, the entertainment business was just coming into into Atlanta back in two thousand fourteen, fifteen. And I said, "Wow, if I moved into my guest house and downsize greatly, I could rent my main house furnished and use that income to fund my business growth". And so I did that. Well then through that, I then said to myself, "OK, so I want to continue investing and growing, so what else can I be doing?". And so I'm always thinking about what can I be doing? Not necessarily that we we need to be sacrificing every day or something. But at the same time, if you want something bad enough, and you know you're right, and you know what your heart is telling you you need to be doing, and yet you feel like you don't have those resources to do it, then you, you'll go, you'll go to extremes. So, the next thing I went through all those possessions that I took from my main house, put in storage, and it included my, my road bike, which I loved cycling and included a lot of great things. But they were only things, they were material things that serve no value to what my life was, and that was serving my clients. So, I went and pretty much sold off like ninety five percent of everything that I had other than what I needed in my furnished, you know, rental. But I just said to myself, you know, I don't need a brand new Lexus anymore and I don't need to be spending at the mall every week like I used to. I don't need to be flying around the world like I used to. So, there's been quite a bit of sacrifices that I've been willing to make, and I'll continue to make them in order to realize what it is that I'm trying to accomplish.

Brian Kelly:
That's amazing. I've read so many of today's wealthiest people have that almost exact same mindset where you said you rented out your guest house. And that's what those super wealthy do. They'll buy like a yacht, but they're not on a yacht except for one month out of the year. The remaining 11, they're doing what it's being rented and leased out.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah.

Brian Kelly:
And so their, their toys become assets. And you did the exact same thing. And, and then you basically went down to minimalist attitude, which in your mind probably wasn't, I mean, a minimalist. I'm just doing what it takes to get it done.

Bernadette Boas:
And it was a minimalist, very minimal, minimal thing.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah. And the thing is, you did it right and you came out the other side, and, and everything's fine. And the beautiful thing is now you you don't ever have to, if you don't want to, you don't ever have to go back to that corporate life.

Bernadette Boas:
But like, yeah, no. That's, that is absolutely not happening. As often as I'm asked about it and offered. No, no, no. That's not happening is it.

It made me think it was so funny. You were talking about corporate life versus entrepreneur life and the Lexus and not needing it. Isn't it interesting how the people that have the corporate jobs have the bigger need for the material things? In their minds? It's kind of what defines them. It helps define them.

Bernadette Boas:
And it defines me. I mean, it was everything to me, everything, my house, my car, my travel, my passport, my clothes. I mean, I allowed it to define me, and it took losing everything to kind of say, "OK, I don't need everything. That's not what makes me happy". So, yeah, yeah.

Brian Kelly:
We worked so hard to try to impress others and, you know, and it just brings a lot of us down, as a result. It's unfortunate, but it's cool that you've gone through it. You've been through it. You understand it. Now, I'll imagine that you're way happier now than you ever were.

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, yes. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, absolutely. What I've learned is the only thing that I now care about is just being happy, being joyful, being at peace, loving myself, not worried about anybody else, not caring what anybody else thinks. Because as an entrepreneur, you're going to do things that, that people are just going to say, "Yeah, you can't do that or you're not you're not capable of doing that". Or, you know, when I started writing my book, let alone turning that book into a movie script, trust me, the haters and the judges came out of the woodwork saying, "Who the hell are you to think that you're going to have some big feature film about your story?". And I'm like, "Thank you very much". You know, and I just went on and wrote my script and wrote. And as entrepreneurs, we just have to be willing to close out what everybody else is doing and just follow our heart and our why why we're doing what we're doing.

Brian Kelly:
It's so important to think big. There's a book called "The Magic of Thinking Big". It's all about.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah,

Brian Kelly:
You know, thinking the ridiculous big, which is only ridiculous to other people who are not thinking.

Bernadette Boas:
And.

Brian Kelly:
And they're just looking at they're just looking with jealousy and envy, it's all about ego. I think the difference between them and you and probably myself is ego and the degree of an ego. We all have one. But entrepreneurs, who are successful, have learned to put that thing to the side and, and, and then become successful as a result, because ego is a cancer to a successful business. It's obvious you've mastered that. It's obvious. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I love this. I think big people. Do you have a copy of your book handy near your desk?

Bernadette Boas:
I do. It's right behind me.

Brian Kelly:
Well, could you hold that up and let's talk about that a little bit.

Bernadette Boas:
Here you are. So, it's "Shedding the corporate bitch. Shifting, shifting your bitches to riches and life and business".

Brian Kelly:
I love that title and the subtitle.

Bernadette Boas:
Well in it. And and to clarify, the bitches in my world as a result of that is the fears, insecurities, negativity and intimidation that people feel about themselves. And that's why they lash out on the world.

Brian Kelly:
Oh, no.

Bernadette Boas:
I recognize in my own growth and in my own shedding process that the reason why I was such a corporate tyrant and so nasty for so many years is simply because I was just extremely insecure, easily intimidated, just didn't feel that I fit in anywhere, didn't think I was worthy of what I had. You would never know that from my exterior because I was extremely successful in business. So, you would never know that if I walked into a room by my posture or my, the my stance, you would never know. I was kind of just like a little ball inside. But, but I was. And the way that I was able to mask that, which a lot of bullies and a lot of toxic leaders do, is I was I mastered through being nasty, wreaking havoc and thinking that being a bully was, the was the way to go. And so, it's taken it's not that it's taken a lot, but over the last 12 years, I just realized that, oh, my God, I was such a nasty person or a bitch because I just was reached with these fears and insecurities and doubts and negativity about myself. So, the bitches in my world are those things as opposed to a person.

Brian Kelly:
Gotcha. I love it. I love it. And yeah. So for people watching, if you think that you might have some of those characteristics going on right now. The first, the first step I always say is awareness, being aware that that's going on. And then the second step is now do something to change that. Right.

Bernadette Boas:
Well, I'll add to that that through my shedding process as well, I came up with a five step shift to "Rich's formula", I call it. Because I realized that almost like a going through death or divorce, there are stages. And so, I realized that I first had to discover who I was and who I wanted to be. And then I needed to confront it good, bad and indifferent. And that was a pretty picture, let me tell you. And then once I was able to confront it, I made a decision that I wanted to share the things that I no longer wanted in my life, and that included people, places, things, everything, as well as keep the riches. I always say honor your riches because we all have them within ourselves. So, in order for you to create and accelerate the riches in life you deserve. So that's where shit from Bitch to Rich comes from.

Brian Kelly:
It's a phenomenal setting. Even people. That, that one hits home for me because there were a couple. And it's not easy. It never is.

Bernadette Boas:
No.

Brian Kelly:
You start out as these incredible friends and then something either happens like. It wasn't it was always gradual.

Bernadette Boas:
Yeah.

Brian Kelly:
And it hasn't been that many. But I don't like thinking about it because it's a sad place that you have to do that. You have to walk away. You have to turn away and say, "Look, this isn't working out. You're not helping my cause. And I need to get I got a lot of people to impact. I can't be pulled down".

Bernadette Boas:
Exactly.

Brian Kelly:
We've got we've got a part.

Bernadette Boas:
And I deserve better is what you need to tell yourself. I deserve better.

Brian Kelly:
Yeah, that's right. And those people that you're about to serve deserve that. Right. So, they always say one of the things that's very powerful is to have the capacity to fire your friends.

Bernadette Boas:
Oh, yeah. Of course.

Brian Kelly:
Only those friends that are pulling you down, I don't mean all of them. Of course. Let's talk about your business. You're going right now "The Ball of Fire Consulting". What is a perfect client for you? What are the type of people you're looking for to help and serve? And then what do you do? What are your services for them?

Bernadette Boas:
Great question. I serve, though. I look for individuals, specifically corporate and entrepreneurial women professionals, and but they have to have certain characteristics. And I sum it up, as I want them to be passionate. I want them to be purposeful, and I want them to be productive. But in all areas of their life, not just at work, yet they might be struggling to really understand what it is that they want, why it is that they want it, and then how to go about doing it. So, I'll say that I want those individuals who are, who are ready to declare, own and achieve their goals and aspirations. And yet they they just might not quite understand what they need to do for second and third plus. They want someone who can kind of hold them accountable while at the same time supporting, motivating and cheering them on and and help them kind of carve the path that they need to take for themselves in the short term and long term. And yet, at the same time, that that also could kind of make up a team of people within a workplace that might just need a more, more strategic way of collaborating, engaging and working together as a team that might feel disconnected. So, the services provider is predominantly through coaching. It could be one on one or group coaching. I often get clients coming to me directly, but I also get them through an H.R. leader that might feel that one of their employees deserves or needs a coach, hiring managers, CEOs of their own business and or the CEO of a company. So, it's really an individual who's just looking to help level themselves with it and personally, as well as professionally.

Brian Kelly:
Fantastic. Thank you for that. I can imagine that your life, your experience, your time as a corporate person greatly helps in all of those areas for you to be able to master and help them. And that's, that's fantastic. I love it.

Yeah. Thank you.

Brian Kelly:
Great. My goodness. Seven minutes before this show is over, which happens way too often. Let's see. So, I know that you have a a gift for people that you would like to extend. Let's go into that, because it's a perfect segue from what you do to what you can do to help people right now. So, if you wouldn't mind, let's shift over to that and tell people how they can or what the gift is. And then, number two, how do they take advantage of it? How do they make it happen?

Bernadette Boas:
Sure. Well, I always find that people need a little bit of prodding in order to kind of reach out and say, "Hey, I could use some help". I could do some mentoring or coaching or advice or a sounding board. And I always want to provide that opportunity because I don't want you or anyone else sitting there struggling or sitting there unsure or maybe your stock lost or apprehensive about something. So, I offer, I am offering a 30, 30 minute pure coaching, coaching session that you can bring a question, a scenario, a challenge or even an opportunity that you just need some hard and fast tips, tools, strategies, resources. It's all about you. There's nothing, no obligation to it. It's for you to experience what coaching is. But at the same time, I want you walking away. As we talked about early on, we're all about results as entrepreneurs. And I want to give you something that you're going to be able to walk away and apply right there and now in your whether it's your business or your life. So, it's a 30 minute coaching session. And, you know, you can schedule it right on to my calendar. You can mention, because I actually. The link is MindBodyBusiness30. So it's tiny.CC/mindbodybusiness30. That, that'll tell me that you came through this, this show, which is awesome. And don't hesitate doing it. Take advantage of it. You'll you'll see my schedule right, right there. And even if there's times and days that aren't working for you, don't hesitate to reach out, to reach out to me directly and just say, "Hey, you know, I really do need something". Because I do have nine one one sessions for my clients. And that basically means they can literally text nine one one. And I know that there is something immediate that needs to get addressed for them. And so, I make myself available to that because I know what that feels like when you need something, but you can't get a hold of the resource to help you.

Brian Kelly:
And thank you, number one, for making this offer, 30 minutes of her time is very, very valuable. I know. Thirty minutes of anyone's time is not to belittle anyone else's. She's giving of this freely for you to help you, and no obligation. She wants you. I mean, this is genius. I hope you are taking notes. This is the right way to go about bringing more people into your life, whether or not you become another client of hers. That is. She's serving. She's doing exactly, she's, she's practicing what we've been preaching this entire show. And I love that about you, Bernadette. You're a product of the product. You walk the walk, you don't just talk the talk and so forth. Everyone watching. Again, it's tiny.cc/mindbodybbusiness, and then the number thirty, three zero. So it's tiny.cc/mindbodybbusiness30. And that will take you directly to what you see on the screen if you're watching, which is her calendar appointment system. And you'll see Ball of Fire and her wonderful, glowing, smiling face in that round circle and pick the day in time that works for you and be respectful. And if you do schedule that, put everything else aside, put it on your calendar and be sure to show up, because she will be there. She'll be there for you. So just I like to always say be respectful, not that you wouldn't be, but just really make it a priority if you go that route. And the other thing that's even equally as important, if I may say Bernadette, is say yes to this offer. Be OK with accepting help is one thing. If I could reach out and tell people one thing I didn't do enough of was accept offers of help because of that one big capital E starting word called ego that would get in the way. Yeah. And so thank you so much for that. That is amazing. And again, people take advantage of this and say, yes. Don't take advantage of Bernadette because she'll call me and I'm going to come. Definitely do it with respect. Now, Bernadette, we're like a couple of minutes out, like I'm not in a actual studio where they're going to kick me out, so we can go over a little bit if we need to. But what I like to do is I love to end every show with one, very impactful question with each of my guests, and the thing is, is it can be a little bit personal. Tt is also proven to be very powerful, very powerful. And I love to ask this question because of the responses I've been getting. And right before we do that, I promised a giveaway of our own. And that is OK. Look, everyone that's been watching, remember I told you to keep your gaze on the screen and take notes. You now have our permission to pick up that phone because in order to enter, you'll need that phone. Here are the instructions. You simply go to your messaging app on your phone and where you would type in the name of the person you're going to send that text message to. Instead type in this phone number. It's three one four six six five one seven six seven. And then when you want to type in a message like where you would put your emojis all that good stuff, instead put in the two words, peak vacation, and that's peak P-E-A-K and then a hyphen. Don't forget the dash vacation or more time peak dash vacation altogether, no spaces and just tap on that little sand icon and you will start the process of being entered. What do I say? Start there are a couple more things for you to do of supplier email address so we can properly message you.

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Bernadette Boas

Bernadette Boas is known as a ‘ball of fire' transformation coach, consultant, speaker, and author, who leverages her twenty-five-year corporate savviness with her entrepreneurial spirit to equip professionals with the mindset, skills, and talents they need to create riches in their career, business, and life.


Bernadette is the author of her raw and powerful memoir, Shedding the Corporate Bitch; Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, which is her apology for the havoc she wreaked throughout her corporate career.


Today, Bernadette is the founder and CEO of two aspiring Atlanta, Georgia based companies, Ball of Fire Consulting, a business management coaching and consulting practice, and Ball of Fire Media, a media, communications, and publishing firm. As a resident of Atlanta, Georgia, she is an avid pickleball player and dog park visitor where you will often see her with her four-legged best friend Coco.

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